What are you smoking?

Where did you come up with the numbers to back up this fantasy land you are painting?

Ubuntu still pretty much works for that.

And all the stuff people complain about Ubuntu enshittifying, most of that is for more advanced use cases (like switching an app from snap to an apt repo.)

This reminds me I really want to switch to Cinnamon DE on my main desktop (which is still running Unity DE. Which I love ☹️)